Let me introduce myself…
Hi all! Not to sound like the awkward first day of school where you have to stand up in front of the class and tell everyone your name and an interesting, fun fact about yourself but I do want to take a moment and show everyone who I am. My name is Ali. I am 29 years old, I have two beautiful kids and one on the way and I have been married to my first love for seven years now. I have been suffering from OCD for many years but it hasn't been a significant strain on my life until about two years ago. I believe I have always possessed certain obsessive traits and habits through my adolescence and into my early adulthood years but it wasn't until I had my kids that I started noticing a shift in particular ritualistic behaviors. I began obsessively hand washing and becoming obsessed with cleanliness and keeping germs away and I noticed I was starting to lose sight of myself and what made me happy because my mind was being taken over by this unwelcomed thief that had set up camp in my brain. Ever since then, it has only progressed and the need for control over all aspects of life has become my kryptonite. It has eaten away at my mental state slowly and painfully leaving only this sheer glimpse of the girl I used to be. Her fight was long and hard but ultimately she lost and what's left behind is the person that this thief has turned me into. I live day by day, ritual by ritual doing the best that I can to find strength to be the mom I need to be for my kids. They are my reason to keep going, to keep getting up everyday and to not give up. I'm telling you this as to not bring a dark cloud over this place of healing but to show you that I understand. I live this with you everyday. I know how hard it is, how debilitating it is, how draining it can be. You feel like a constant low battery on your iPhone unable to be charged. I see you. Here, no one has to hide from the pain that mental health disorsers cause, always come as you are. All of you. We can and we will get through this together. Day by day. Step by step. Hand in hand. Broken piece by broken piece. I'm here to help you find you again. To get rid of your own unwanted thief. We may feel weak against our own battles if it's just a one man fight but when we form an army together, we are stronger and more prepared for the battles. That's a little bit about me and my life with OCD. I'd love to get to know a little bit about you.
Love, Ali.